Supporting Ageing Parents: Where Do You Start?

It Usually Starts With a Small Sign

It's rarely one big moment. More often it's the mail piling up, a missed medication, a garden that's stopped being tended, or a phone call that feels a little more confused than usual. You notice before they say anything, and once you notice, it's hard to un-notice.

The hard part isn't spotting that something's changed. It's knowing what to do next. There's no single form to fill in, no one person to call who sorts it all out, and most families are doing this for the first time while also working, raising their own kids, and trying not to alarm the parent they're worried about.

The First Practical Step: My Aged Care

My Aged Care is the federal government's entry point for all funded aged care support, and it's the right place to start even if you're not sure yet what your parent needs. Registration can be done by phone (1800 200 422) and takes about 15 to 20 minutes. You don't need to work out in advance whether they need a bit of help around the house or something more significant, that's what the assessment is for.

Since a Single Assessment System was introduced, the process is more standardised than it used to be. After registering, an assessor typically makes contact within two to six weeks, and for a comprehensive assessment, it usually happens face to face in your parent's home. The assessor looks at physical mobility, medical needs, safety in and around the home, and what matters to your parent, not just what they can no longer do. You or another family member can be there for support, and an interpreter can be arranged free of charge if needed.

A few things worth knowing before that first assessment:

It can take a while

From registration to services actually starting can stretch to several months, longer for higher levels of home care support. Starting the process before a crisis, not during one, makes a real difference.

Your parent has to consent

The assessor will ask permission before speaking with family members or reviewing information. If your parent is reluctant, framing the assessment as a way to stay independent for longer, rather than a loss of independence, tends to land better than framing it as a problem to be solved.

You can ask for a review

If the outcome doesn't reflect what you're actually seeing day to day, you can request a reassessment, and free independent advocacy is available through the Older Persons Advocacy Network if you want support navigating a dispute.

What the Assessment Can Lead To

Depending on what the assessment finds, your parent may be eligible for entry-level support through the Commonwealth Home Support Programme, such as help with housework, transport or social support, or for Support at Home, the program that now covers more significant in-home care needs across eight funding levels. If their needs go beyond what can safely be managed at home, the assessment can also be the pathway into residential aged care.

None of this happens in one sitting. It's common to move through several stages, entry-level help, then more coordinated home care, then possibly a conversation about retirement living or residential care, over months or years rather than all at once. Knowing that upfront can take some of the pressure off the first assessment. It's a starting point, not a final decision.

Don't Forget About Yourself

Supporting a parent through this is draining, practically and emotionally, and it's easy to let your own wellbeing slide while you're managing theirs. The Carer Gateway (1800 422 737) exists specifically for people in your position, not the parent receiving care, and can connect you with counselling, respite and practical support. If you have siblings, splitting the load early, one person on calls and paperwork, another at appointments, everyone informed, tends to prevent burnout and reduce disagreements later.

What This Looked Like for Anthony

Anthony's story reflects how this often unfolds. Stepping in to support his mother, he found himself navigating decisions and systems he hadn't dealt with before, while still trying to be a son first and a care coordinator second. Having the right support meant he wasn't figuring it all out alone. Read Anthony's full story.

How Planwise Supports Families Through This

Supporting an ageing parent touches their finances, their care needs, their living situation and their sense of independence, usually all at once, and often while you're managing your own life alongside it. Planwise helps families get a clear starting point instead of guessing. Our advisors:

• Help you understand what to expect from a My Aged Care assessment and what it can lead to
• Coordinate care and living decisions alongside your parent's financial position, so nothing is planned in isolation
• Act as a single point of contact, so you're not repeating the same story to five different services
• Stay involved as your parent's needs change, so each new stage builds on the last instead of starting from scratch

You don't have to work out where to start on your own. Book a Discovery Call with Planwise and get a clear first step.